I've lost all ambitions in my studies, but I'm not giving up on life, so where am I heading?

hey, if you want to illustrate and make dolls, make that you're source of satisfaction. spend all your free time doing that. change your priorities around, and stop wasting time and money at that science school if it's not what you want to do! That's partially whats making you anxious. It's hard work in the wrong direction. get a job, work on your art. make it epic. and save all the money you can. you'll feel good about going in the right direction. If you don't care about happiness, a lot of people are desperate. Go volunteer and you'll be helping others (and actually be worth something). Just get off your ''hard work= no real results'' path and start heading towards your goals. you will have to eventually. you might as well start now.